I. Am. StarrDustt!

Ok,

I'm curious...

Married People (or formerly married people): how often do you have (had) sex?

I am asking married folks...because believe it or not...marriage is a whole nother ball game then "being in a relationship" or "cohabitation". There is another lever of commitment, different types of stressors, cycles, and dynamics.

It's been stated that sex changes after marriage, and generally that it declines in frequency along the years. But I don't wanna hear about statistics right now. I want to hear YOUR personal experience. ESPECIALLY those marriage 5+ years, and/or with a young child[ren]

Why do I ask? Well...

I'm a relatively newly wed. Been married almost 4 years, with a beautiful baby girl almost a year old *shout out to FiGi!* At this present time, we are at the best place we've been in this relationship. Happy. Content. At Peace...

HOWEVER...Over the past year or so, we are not having sex as much as we used to.  Now, we are intimate...affectionate. Hug. Kiss. Snuggle. Spent QT when we can if the baby is sleep...but the "knock-down...drag out...hard-core straight up FUCKING", is less frequent.

Now, that being said...we've gone thru a few things. A relationship "Cycle", if you will. Around the time I got preggo (2 day before we found out we were expecting, to be exact), my mister got laid off from his job for around 6 months. VERY stressful time, to say the least. Add to that, the fact that he is 14+ years older than me, and him whole getting in a funk because he wasn't able to provide for his wife and baby...and the time during my pregnancy was not very "busy" *ahem* until the tail end.

Then came baby...and by that time, I was dealing with a terminally ill parent, that passed away within a few months of her birth (and me, the new mommy, trying to figure out to do with this new life we created!) and I was dealing with that....then, returning to work...and trying to balance it all.

Now, there were some stretches where we are our old heathen/hedonistic selves, but not as frequent as it used to be. I'm kinda hoping this is just a phase. I've asked hubby "What gives" (because for real, I could get it ERRYDAY & twice on Sunday with GiGi laying right inthe bed next to me! *giggle*). But he told me that right now...he is trying to do right by us, and focusing on being the best father & husband that he can be, but it's just rough with his work schedule (he works until 1 am...and doesn't get home until 2. So by that time, with any luck...I'm sleep since I have to get up at 6). Tells me that he prefers our quality lovin' over quantity, and quickies are ok occasionally (I'm ALL for a quickie, if thats all we have time for), but he prefers for us to wait until we can both unwind, relax, ake our time, and enjoy each other since everything else (financial crises, broken down cars, new parenthood, careers, life in general) gets so crazy. I understand that at 48, he is "old school". He needs his heart, mind, and spirit to be in it...not just his...uhh, "member". and MOST times, I genuinely love & appreciate that fact about him... I mean, he's home every night taking care of me and lil mama. He works hard. He give me the opportunity to spend time with my friends and get out and not have to be in mommy-mode all the time. He's a good man. He's thoughtful. He's attentive...

But for real... "I've got an appetite for loveeee, cuz me so hor-nayyyyyy". 

Do most married couples go thru highs & lows? What is a "normal" amount of times to have sex during the week?  Should I be worried?


P.S. That pic of us make me hawwwwwwwwwwtttttttttt. I think I'll pseudo-rape him tonight, if all else fails. *drool*